SELF, SELFISHNESS AND SELFLESSNESS

I once listened to a speech where it goes like this - "Every person is selfish, whether he admits it or not". I couldn't quite understand it at the time. I was like what the hell? How about all the famous people out there who sacrificed everything and were called the epitome of selflessness?

But today, as has been my case for quite a few days in fact, I was still trying to figure out my role. What people call path to realizing one's self or putting it simply - asking myself questions like "who am I?", "Why do I live?", "What's my purpose in life?", "Why do I exist?" etc ...questions that most people ask themselves at some point in their life. Being a female, and therefore prone to multitasking and unable to focus on just one problem, a hundred different thoughts kept flitting across my mind. Among these thoughts happen to be a realization of the truth in the the statement that every person is selfish.

Now I keep hitting jackpot on such questions in life every now and then. But unfortunately I also keep forgetting that I found an answer after a few days, the question itself disappearing from memory. The why of this phenomenon I do not know. But for what ever reason's I wanted to note down this new finding somewhere so it doesn't get lost.

Now dictionary meaning of selfish would be "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others." And selfless would be "having little or no concern for oneself". Okay, now consider a person you feel is the epitome of selflessness, say he/she self sacrificed for the betterment of a lot of other people. Now what motivates such a person to do so? If they have absolutely no personal stake, this act is never gonna take place. 

There is always a sense of achievement for which any action is done. Be it survival or sacrifice. In this case it could be that the person's purpose in life to him/her was this. That person truly believed that this is what he/she was born to do and making a difference to the world because of his/her action was to them the ultimate purpose of life. So actually here the said person is achieving the best for himself by doing what he/she does, and that has in a way nothing to do with anyone else. If this was not so, he or she would never do what was done. 

Call me a cynic but this do make sense to me. Of course it does bring about a big impact on a lot of people's life and hence benefit a lot of people. But the person doing such an act definitely achieved something higher for himself according to his/her own sense of self and understanding which was why he/she chose to do so. 

Now this is not to say that I am belittling any act of kindness. Its just that for some people making a difference to this world speaks to their sense of self as achieving a higher purpose. And everyone wants to have a purpose in life. Its basic nature of any living thing.

Now a Psychopath just happens to have an opposite calling in life. For what ever reason's he/she feels a sense of achievement through acts of violence and hence follows that path. Unfortunately these are things in life that is beyond my understanding for the moment. But of course every action has a reaction, and psychopath's action causes negative feelings to those impacted, so he/she is seen as someone who needs to be removed from existence. 

Again to a smaller degree we find people who are happy when they see others happy. Also you see people who find happiness in other people's miseries. And you either help or hinder another person based on your natural tendencies of selfishness. Where you find motivation and happiness makes you choose your actions. 

Unfortunately I don't know what makes a person motivated by one thing and another person motivated by another. The why of it is beyond my understanding. But at least I have come to understand and accept that this is the way of the world. Everyone is unique. So unique kind of looses its meaning as a distinguishing factor. And mostly people make the mistake of thinking everyone is the same and what you believe in is what everyone should believe in. But if you can accept that people are different and factor that in with your expectations, I guess life will be a lot easier.

Understanding Instinct better ...

I have come to realize that doing what ever the heck I feel like doing isn't really called following my instinct.

Its just going where circumstances take me without caution, kind of opposite to what I should be doing ...

So I have decided not to apply my instinct on actions I take where infatuations and possible crushes are concerned. That is the wrong area to take up my instinct on. Definitely not going to help me in the present social scenario, since the instinct human beings have for this is to blunder right on and get on with the guy/girl you like. Not the right approach as I have learned the hard way.

So what would be the right places to apply instinct? When on the road, traveling, yes, stay on alert. When you need to trust someone - that seems to work fine with my instinct - so far.

I can go by my feeling when I make decisions in life. For example I can ask myself if something I decide makes me feel good - say should I study study next or continue working - which makes me happier next?

But when it comes to something involving a relationship and the opposite sex, I probably need everything I got - instinct to trust, a feel good factor and all the brain cells that's still working. Still I might not have much of a chance.

I should ideally also learn to play the games in today's twisted society. Unfortunately that leaves a bad taste in my mouth to even contemplate that. So I guess I will have to make do without that. But that's kind of like a handicap in the current world.

But I need to do whats right by me. I might do a lot of things that's right for me and not so right for the world. And funny enough in this case its the other way around.

How ever, a woman's got to do what she's got to do ...

This is my final learning after a lot of quiet and peace at home, once I managed a long vacation from work.

I guess vacation is just the thing for me to have half my gray areas falling into black or white. Or close enough for me to judge, without having to really put a conscious effort. Things are starting to fall in place - good for me :)

Every action counts - empathy is a powerful emotion

I get myself involved when I see or hear something. Even when I have to walk away, there is always this pull in me to do something - anything. Its difficult when I see some problem not to try to solve it. When I see someone needing help, not to do something about it.

Yet it is true that one cannot help the world, and there is only so much one person can do. One cannot help in every case you see. There are limits and I have realized that. But there is always the fact that every small action counts.

Like a seashore is made up of so many tiny particles of sand, Like a dam has so many bricks to stop the water and every brick counts, Like in a chore done by ten hands, every hand plays a part - so it is with every small action that you do towards helping someone.

Every small thing could make a difference. You may argue, that if I help one poor person, its not going to erradicate poverty. But do remember how ever small a help you give to one person, it will make a difference in that one persons life. And that matters.

So I follow the flow, help where I can. Try to help in such a way that what help I give may help someone help themselves further. Thats my goal, to help efficiently.

Flash mob and me ...

I have not had so much fun in quite some time. It was one of the most exciting things I have done in my life, though it was not in my "to do" list in life. Still I am someone who believes that when oppurtunity presents itself to make something out of yourself, you grab it.

Hence through sheer chance I have managed to take part in a flash mob. For one it was not in my itinerary to join a hip-hop or b-boying or rather b-girling class, but I saw the class and fell in love with it ... and now am trying my best to do as much as I can with it.

It is this dance class group that planned the flashmob and I got an oppurtunity to take part in it. It is not quite as wild as what you see on TV, nor is it illegal in India. Its just a bit unconventional, and I have a huge tendency towards the unconventional.

All said and done - it was fun, it was cool and I had the exhilarating feeling of a free bird flying in the sky, and with no worry for that few minutes while we performed the flash mob.

You can watch the video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=b5XY0M_gV84

Enjoy!!!

Gut Feelings ...

I am feeling highly uneasy. Not sure why. It has always been this way when I am dreading something. Its a gut feeling I wouldn't want to ignore.

The frustrating part is I don't know why I am getting this feeling. It is kinda like an internal warning telling me to run for it. But I don't get what from ... I guess it will become clear soon enough, though by then it might be too late.

Run ... but where? What from? I wish I had more insight to my instinct than I am getting right now ...

Hope its just a bad feeling, and will come to nothing. Or that it will give me a more well defined sense of what is giving me this sense of alarm before its too late.

But I am on high alert till the danger is passed. I don't ignore my gut feelings. Thats how I survive in this world ... but man its stressful ...

Patterns of Life

My thoughts started running when I started asking myself, how is it someone learns something new? What makes them learn slow or fast? How do we go about learning, conciously or subconciously?

Here are the things I have come to think might be what makes us learn:
One is that we start seeing the pattern that makes sense to us. Lets say we are learning to draw, we see a pattern of how to draw a line so it makes sense for the drawing.

Nature is always symmetric in everything it creates, so we add symmetry to our pattern when we draw nature. We then observe the details, absorb the various patterns involved, the basic shapes and lines we need to learn, how to combine them and so on.

Its always easier to learn anything by learning the smallest bits first. The basic steps involved. The smaller the pieces we break the whole into, the easier it is to learn.

Second comes practice. Each person has a difference in the way they remember things. For some it takes very less repetition to remember but for some it takes a lot. So repetition is one way you can make something a part of your subconcious. Hence by repeating these smallest bits, you can absorb them to be part of you.

Next comes your creativity and courage to experiment with the bits. There are two ways you can learn things, one learn patterns that are handed down to you,or two: make your own patterns. Those who really learn the pattern of life are those who have the courage to try their own patterns.

You can start by learning the patterns handed down to you. Then move on to your own pattern creation. And be open to failures. Your patterns may not be nice initially, but they can always improve as you keep trying.

There is always the part of your ability to grasp things and how much attention to detail you pay, and how hard you want to learn something. The intention matters. And also this intention decides whether you have what it takes to keep trying till you get it right, without giving up when the going gets tough.

So over all learning something requires dedication to the task at hand, and taking it one bit at a time, absorbing that bit into you so that it becomes you, and then once its yours, learning to make your own pattern out of these bits. Then you have truly mastered what you set out to learn.

Thoughts and Clouds

Its interesting to compare the cloud pattern changes with thought pattern changes over time.

If you observe the clouds in the sky, it keeps changing with time, forming new shapes, giving new colours, clearing up or crowding the sky. Some times calm and serene, sometimes stormy and dark.

Its the same with thoughts, if you observe you find that it keeps changing, sometimes clear, sometimes cloudy, changing colours, forming new ones as time goes, discarding old, sometimes serene, sometimes dark and stormy.

I guess you can compare everything in nature with each other. There is some common strain, everything evolves and changes with time, following a pattern, and improvising for becoming better.

Our thoughts do the same, and it is in a way these thoughts that changes that makes us alive. Makes us live life with vigor. For if there was only serene thoughts and no variation, I would call life boring and in a way dead.