Understanding Instinct better ...

I have come to realize that doing what ever the heck I feel like doing isn't really called following my instinct.

Its just going where circumstances take me without caution, kind of opposite to what I should be doing ...

So I have decided not to apply my instinct on actions I take where infatuations and possible crushes are concerned. That is the wrong area to take up my instinct on. Definitely not going to help me in the present social scenario, since the instinct human beings have for this is to blunder right on and get on with the guy/girl you like. Not the right approach as I have learned the hard way.

So what would be the right places to apply instinct? When on the road, traveling, yes, stay on alert. When you need to trust someone - that seems to work fine with my instinct - so far.

I can go by my feeling when I make decisions in life. For example I can ask myself if something I decide makes me feel good - say should I study study next or continue working - which makes me happier next?

But when it comes to something involving a relationship and the opposite sex, I probably need everything I got - instinct to trust, a feel good factor and all the brain cells that's still working. Still I might not have much of a chance.

I should ideally also learn to play the games in today's twisted society. Unfortunately that leaves a bad taste in my mouth to even contemplate that. So I guess I will have to make do without that. But that's kind of like a handicap in the current world.

But I need to do whats right by me. I might do a lot of things that's right for me and not so right for the world. And funny enough in this case its the other way around.

How ever, a woman's got to do what she's got to do ...

This is my final learning after a lot of quiet and peace at home, once I managed a long vacation from work.

I guess vacation is just the thing for me to have half my gray areas falling into black or white. Or close enough for me to judge, without having to really put a conscious effort. Things are starting to fall in place - good for me :)