ANAND S BABU

Tuition mate in 11th and 12th ...

This guy is one of a kind ... who is always having a mischievous smile ... always having a cheerful attittude. He has a very helpful nature ... great fan of rock music and plays guitar pretty well ... loves to travel and enjoy life in general ... had always been nice having him as a friend though we end up talking once in a blue moon ... he is an all rounder who knows to balance life ... gone through several freaky interests too in occults, extraterrestrials, witchcraft ... and so on ... He also takes part in social service which I assume might be because his mom too always does a lot of social service. Am always glad he's been a good friend .. :)

MY CAT IS BAK!!!!

Well what can I say, when I thought I'd never see any of them again, we at least found the mother cat, ma dearest Pammi ...

The story goes thus, since we were so attached to the cat we asked at a few places whether anyone had seen the cat, mom had also gone for walks and asked people a bit farther off, one of the women she talked with said she had seen a cat similar in description by the road side, and mom was like if it responds to the name Pammi then its our cat, please give her something to eat and give us a call, and gave our number.
Then we got a call on Friday morning, last week, 23rd may ... and mom hurried off in the car and they had locked it in their dog cage after feeding it as they were afraid it would run away ... and when they opened the cage it started to flee, then mom called it "Pammi ... da ... ingu vaa ... Pammi ..." and it stopped and looked at mom uncertainly. Then she managed to coax it and it was still a bit uncertain as to what to do, but finally mom carried it back to the car, and it was all wild on the journey home trying to get out of the car, which we are puzzled about, mite be the kittens were hidden somewhere by him, or just because of a memory of getting lost because he was in the bus.
Anyway once back ... and she was in a really bad state at that ... starving and muddy and frail and thin ... mom fed her, she ate so much ... then mom gave her a bath with dettol soap and later cleaned her with dettol. She was crying around all over the place looking for Browny and the baby kittens ... and it was a real sad sight all week ... but now she is getting better, started going out with the many prospective boy friends ( there is one cat I believe to be Browny's father and another white cat which used to come looking for her even when she was gone ... and many many more, she is never short of options ... ;) ... ). Guess cats forget easily ... a good thing as their life is also short and unfortunately kittens die or go missing ever so often, it would be too much of a heart break if they don't forget ... hmmm ... just thought I'd pen in this wonderful news, of at least finding Pammi!!!

THE MISERY OF MISSING ....

Talk about taking things for granted ... not in my wildest dreams did I think that the dear momma cat, her elder son and three babies with whom I play with every day would disappear into thin air just like that ... and I had asked dad to get me a cam just so that I cud take their photos ... and I was waiting eagerly for my cam to arrive and hoping that I could capture all the antiques and pranks and cuteness of my kittens ... but alas ... that is not to be ... they went missing 2 days back, on Saturday, when they had there breakfast at 6.30 and was out playing ... and an hour later they were no where to be seen ... all five of them ...

We waited till evening but still none came back ... we looked far and wide ... into open wells ... yards ... asked to some of the neighbors ... at the nearest shops ... no one had seen them ... we heard some really frightening theories that they may have been caught by drunkards who make "vattu charayam" and that they eat cats ... or someone found them too cute and caught the kittens and the cats went with them ... but all seem unlikely as no one could catch all five of them together ... maybe one or two ... but not all five ....

Then the new theory came ... there were a few mini buses parked near our compound wall ... and the cats used to climb in those sometimes when they play ... so maybe they got in and no one saw them and took off with the bus ... and they got off somewhere ... yes ... that was likely ... but we needed to confirm this theory and the bus owner was a grumpy man who would never tell us even if the cats were in his bus ...

Then my neighbor suggested that we ask the boys who work in the bus, and don't ask as if we were desperate but act as if we were planning on giving away the cats but were a bit disturbed because the cats disappeared suddenly though we weren't planning on keeping them ... and that's what mom did ... she asked the bus boy if he had seen them, and sure enough he said yes there were all five in the bus, but they saw them only when they were going to pick up travelers at a distant stop, they were about to throw all of them out when one of the families took a liking to the mother cat and decided to keep her, and since the kittens where with her they took the kittens as well, and the male cat ran off ... I am a bit concerned about Browny but he is kinda OK with taking care of himself ...

Mom was seriously worried sick ... and ya I mean really she was all pale and weak with too much tension ... and kept talking about Pammi 24x7 ... she was really attached to the cat since it was her sole company when my bro left for college, and I was in the hostel and she was home alone ... and she used to always have the cat following her around and crying to her when ever it was hungry and come running when ever she called out to it ... and she was missing the cat and the kittens and Browny terribly ... but she was also really worried about what happened to them, so she was really relieved ( and so am I ) to know they were in caring hands.

But though I am relieved they are safe I still miss them terribly, and I guess mom probably misses them way more than I do ... and she decided not to have any other pets ... she cant take the tension ... Guess there is a void when I go out and don't see there cute faces peeking out ... or see them playing around ... I expect to hear Pammi mew and come and walk and rub around my leg and wait for me to pat her ... And I wish she is happy where ever she is ... because she is the most dear and sweet and harmless cat I have ever seen who cares a lot about her kittens and even her first born son who is bigger than her ... and I hope time would heal the void of missing them ...

Nijith Raju

Classmate in school during plus two for two years

He is someone who had been a good friend of mine during my two years in plus two. A nice guy, who could be understanding, and give you good company. A good drama actor, creative person with lots of ideas ... he was also good at some sports events and was always around doing different stuff ... having fun and enjoyin life ... though i cant say that he understood me much ... he had been good company and was one of the few guys i was friends with during those reserved times of mine ... we have since completely lost contact but I do still remember those days at times, and I guess he is someone I wanted to write about here ...

Bharathy Subramani

My school mate from 9th to 12th

She is my best friend from school. It was that part of my life when I was a recluse, a reserved type, basically because I was too shy to talk to people and to boys in particular, and most of the girls at school belonged to another genre, with more interest in MTV, fashion, make ups, looks, nail polish ... what girls are normally interested in, and I kind of was a bit different - a tom boy, not interested in any of those things and didn't find the conversations interesting. I loved sports ... and so that was one thing that made me real happy, playing basketball and the various other games. Bharathy was also a bit different ... not all that much into the girlish stuff, also interested in playing out doors and having fun, a down to earth person whom i could connect with. She was not pretentious and was one of the few people I could relate to in school. She was a fun person. Someone with a ready smile. Who was just the opposite of what I was back then, and I really admired her ability to easily mingle with people and get along, and just go full out. She wasn't scared of anything, and well I liked her a lot. One of the only people I had a bit of possessiveness about without knowing it. I am normally never possessive and I was surprised when I didn't like her getting attached to other friends in 12th ... I seriously had insecurity issues back then I guess ... but when I realised I was getting possessive I did manage to get out of it ... and well I hate possessiveness in me or anyone being possessive about me ... so i got rid of it. She was also a bit naive about a lot of things back then ... and so was I, and had a little less awareness of surroundings ... he he ... and really no qualms about calling out all the names under the sun when someone deserved it ... or for fun (when someone asked for it) ... well I guess I did learn quite a few Tamil swear words from her ... not anything serious - just a few like "Pombala poriki, sombheri pasu ... paye ... pisache ... sory naye ..." etc ... she is a really caring person ... who is a good singer ... who can be real fun to hang out with!!! Who can cheer u up ... who can make friends out of complete strangers if left with such a group ... who can be depended on and trusted to be with u always ... she is always a great friend ... and we keep in touch as often as we can ... which isn't as much as i would like but well ... we could always talk like we did just yesterday be it after a month or after a year ... I guess true friendship has no rules and borders ...

Prasobh Jomy

College mate for 4 years

He was in IT class ... and the first thing i remember about him is the tall guy who was scared to talk to girls ... if he happened to be walking on a road and sees a girl he takes such a wide detour that it was extremely amusing ... later on I got to know him through Sanni as he was her classmate. He is really tall, must be 6 foot 2 or something or maybe more ... He was also interested in basketball and that kinda was a reason he ended up being my friend. He was the captain of the men's basketball team in final year. He was a good team leader and play maker and just because of him our house basketball team had won, in spite of being pitted against a team which seemed much stronger due to the abundance of the college team players ... talk about effective team efforts ... I seriously have to say he is really good with caring about people ... and he is actually a nice guy with a few escape tendencies, as in he hates to get hurt and does some foolish stuff like trying to push away friends so that he would miss them less when they leave him after college kind of crap ... what to do ... some people get strange ideas ... i never saw the point in that, but well each to once own logic. Anyway he is a nice friend to have, loyal, dependable, and helpful .... and one would certainly enjoy his company!!! I am happy to have known him.

Mari Muthu

College mate for 4 years

Though he want in my class, was in IT, he was always in my class during break times, and used to hang out with us ... he is from Idukki, and he sings well, I have heard him sing once ... but later when i asked him to sing he was very shy ... He is a jolly character, with a dimpled smile, a rough look, but actually pretty much a pavam guy. He likes playing football, loves his friends ... and is really down to earth. He always strike me as someone who was straight forward in his dealings with people, relatively quiet though not exactly reserved, just someone who talks less and listens more, and generally enjoys just hanging out ... he had been with our batch for the tours, and well ... he is more like one of my classmate ... :)

Seetha Lekshmi U V

Hostel mate for 4 years in college

Well this girl is a few nuts loose ... i have to say ... she is extremely fond of her home, and if she goes home from hostel, she is extremely reluctant to come back to the hostel ... and often doesn't come back on time ... she is a creative girl, who is really good with decorating ... she is one of the experts in helping wear saree, and well she had kind of the same structure as me ... she was not at all scared of insects and used to pick up bugs in her hands and throw them out ... or just beat them up and kill them ... :O ... pavam insects ... she was always up to some mischief, getting chased by Rajitha ... she was Rajitha's room mate ... he he ... and exam times were always a crazy time for her ... she was also fun in the hostel, and have done some pretty awesome dares during the Xmas friend season ... and well ... Part of our gang, in stealing food from the mess in the middle of the night ... lot of fun incidents ... guess i will stop here ...

Krishna B S

My hostel mate for 4 years

She was in the room with Vidya Jyothi and Krishna J S, and since the two Krishna's were in the same room, we used to call her as KB ... she is actually a very sensitive girl, who doesnt know to keep anything in her mind ... always health concious and beauti concious ... she used to exercise regularly, and i swear half the acrobatics she did would be very difficult to do ... yoga exercise ... :) ... she was also a good dancer and had seen her dance for the Arts and hostel day celebrations ... She was the fun type ... who was a little bit reserved during our final year, due to personal problems, but nevertheless she is our KB dear, and is a good hearted kid, with a sweet smile, and we do understand her, though we missed her ... she is a bit of a dodo, who can think later and act first ... There were a lot of fun she, Paro and Seetha had together ... and this gal is really a pavam at heart ... :).

Minnu Anand

Hostel mate of mine for 4 years

She is a serious person, who is very mature. She could also be trusted with responsibilities. She is someone who has her own decisions, and who is quite self possessed. She could be a loyal friend to one, and a sensible one too ... she isnt a real close friend of mine, but been a close one of Bidhu's (my room mate). She is an active person in the hostel, is usually there for everything, though in the final year she used to go home a lot ... she, neethu, bidhu and all have been upto several mischieves and had spiced up our time in the hostel ... she is very fond of dogs, and had a dog whose name thanks to my bad memory i have forgotten, but I had seen his pic. She had really done several fun stuff during X'mas dares, and all in all she was quite nice to hang out with ... well ... mite update more later ...

Reshmi Namboothiri

This is a girl who is always smiling from end to end ... who is really sensitive and can cry very easily for very small reasons ... she is also a wonderful dancer, though not as expressive as Remya. She, Remya and I have had a lot of fun dancing away to glory in the hostel, hostel tour, etc etc ... and on college day on final year with Rakhi making us a four member dance team ... all the practicing and the fun days ... its all a great memory ... She was always easy to fool too, and I had fun being her Christmas friend!!! In the final year ... but well ... she is a sweet gal, who is pretty and fun ... always getting fooled by Sanni, getting man handled by Deepti and me (all due to her thoughtless provocations ... he he ... she keeps forgetting she is no match!!!)... It i really a lot of fun memories I have of her!!!

Krishna J S

Hostel mate for 4 years

She was in the same room with Vidya Jyothi. She is a girl who is always smiling, who is cheerful and nice to have around. She is a simple person, with an easy going manner. We werent that close, but since she and Reshmi Namboothiri happen to be the only other people from IT branch, with Sanni, they were always coming to our room, for studying or writing assignment, or to drag Sanni off to college before she was kicked out of class, coz Sanni was always running around at the last minute and consistently getting late for class ... :D ... So I have been around this gal, and feel good about her as a person ... and so though I wud share my thoughts on her!!!

Vijetha Vijayan

My hostel mate for 2 years

She came to the hostel in our third year in college ... and was with our seniors, Aysha chechi and P3, and I believe she had a blast that year, because these two are as fun as things could get ... then went to Deepti and Shilpa's room, and both times I visit often ... we aren't particularly close, but I guess we did have fun, and she is in my memory thanks to a lot of stuff that happened in their room, like her b'day celebration, when she let Deepti blind fold her and take her to the bathroom, where a whole bunch were waiting to pour buckets of water over her!!! They managed to drench her totally, poor thing, before she even got her blind fold loose ... we being on different floors was a reason I was as surprised to see her drenched, he he ... but well has to say she knew this was coming, or something mischievous, but she was game ... pretty cool ... then there are a lot of friendly conversations, and small small moments ... farewell time and all ... it was fun ... she is a sweet and nice person, whom u would love to be friends with ...

Preethi G

My hostel mate for 4 years

A seemingly quiet girl ... we haven't been that close, but she is someone I did like very much ... she is not that pavam, has a few tricks up her sleeve, can be fun and playful, she is a friendly and sweet person. We have had some fun, as she was Manju's roommate, and I used to visit the room often ... when I went to see manju, and she was always there ... she is a buji, really good at studies ... smart gal ... I always felt in her a good friend, someone you could trust ... so I decided to write these words so i would remember the fun fights we had in hostel, all the punching, and well there is an interesting photo of one of our fun fights, during our farewell ... we ended up messing each others hair big time!!! ... he he ... memories memories ...

Some thoughts about my kittens ...

Pammi ( that's my cat) gave birth to three kittens on 12th march, this month. Since she trusts me and mom very much, she let me touch the baby kittens on the first day they were born itself. They were so tiny, and had closed eyes and it was a wonderful sight. I watched them day after day, saw them staring to move ... open their eyes, make small sounds ... it was really something. They were almost always feeding or sleeping during the first couple of weeks. Then I saw them walk around more, and when i picked them up they mewed and tried to jump off ... they don't like being picked up ... :) . But sometimes I take them out of the box ... where they live so they can walk about a bit ... It was in these times that I made certain observations ... The three kittens showed clearly different characters ... though they were born at the same time ...

Two of them are black,gray and white combo ... looks like twins ... but are quite the opposite in character. I haven't named them yet, so I will call one Grayey and the other Blackie as they are more closer to the respective colors ...

Blackie seems to be the reserved kind, who is scared to venture out ... and who seems to be the cautious one ... better safe than sorry goes his motto and he doesn't trust easily ... he usually moves off to the farthest and darkest corner of the box, wakes up as soon as he hears any noise, and really doesn't move around all that much ... he is really shy when he does move and rarely moves into uncharted territory ...

Now Grayey is another type all together, he is the enthusiast, doesn't care being picked up much, tries to explore new areas, very restless and the first to jump out of the box and go exploring, a happy one. Not at all cautious. The fun and frolic one ... he also has the energy about him ... he also wakes up often when he hears noise ... but is always curious to know what the noise is ...

Now we have a third one, which is brown and white, brown tail, a brown patch on the head which looks like she has hair and some few brown spots on her mainly white body ... This one is the always loves food one ... who keeps feeding almost all the time, isn't particularly scared, and does explore some, but generally not all that much into running around either ... prefers to take her own time and do explore when she is in the mood. She sleeps soundly, and doesn't wake up when she hears me coming near ... and feeding and sleeping are the two main part of her life so far ...

Three weeks old, and they already have such interesting personalities ... I wonder what it would be like when they become really more active and starts running around ... :).

Amrita M R

fHostel mate for 4 years.

The beauty from Kannur. She was the vella kura of our hostel ... even when the light was off you can see her ... he he. She is someone you might think have jada, but you can be totally surprised. She is a down to earth girl, who is simple and straight forward. She is very much outgoing and friendly, and you would warm to her easily. She is someone who loves her family a lot, who would always be there for her friends, and some one you could depend on. She is someone who is impartial in her friendship, and someone who could accept everybody as they are. She sees the good in people, and can turn a blind eye to their weaknesses or short comings. She is a responsible person, who is also fun and loves to enjoy life. She is definitely someone you would be happy about having as your friend.

Roshney Roy

Hostel mate for 4 years in college.

She was the girl who was always playing tricks on people, running around all over the hostel, and generally responsible for a lot of ruckus ... she always had a mischievous look on her face, and well she was mischievous. She was a really naive girl when she came to the hostel, and didn't understand half of what you told her, but I have to say she was a quick learner, and by half the time there she seems to know more than those who was giving her tips ... talk about transformations. We had done a group dance for our last Arts fest at college - "Mambazhama mambazham ...", and she was quite good with her expressions. We happen to fall into the same category, the girls in the hostel who always took up the part of the guys in a dance ... we always managed to pull off playing the men in the dances quite convincingly ( he he ) ... We have had quite a lot of fun in the tours, in the different fests in hostel, and she is quite the fun person to hang out with. And I should say you would never feel bored around her, but maybe a little careful, unless you would like a trick played on you!!!

Neethu Susan Vargeese

My hostel mate for 4 years.

She is the hip girl from U.A.E. Who has an attitude that had gotten her in a lot of trouble during first year. She has this don't care attitude and a little bit of jada, that seems like a lot of jada to those outside, and "I don't care about what you think" feel about her that always had made her a target for the seniors in college. Well she did have that attitude, and complained a lot about being targeted by the seniors and later when the juniors came with half the attitude she felt they were getting on her nerves, say what!!! She and I tended to disagree on a variety of issues, and Sanni and I often had send her off all hot and offended over something we said against her opinions... she is a bit sensitive too you know ... but all that aside she is actually quite a good hearted person, and if you look past all her frills and attitude you can see a girl of good principles, without any malice in her, who is open and frank - she tells what she feels to your face, who ever you may be ... which in my opinion is a good thing. She is quite something. She was a lot naive when she came to the hostel, and I have to say she changed for the better in 4 years at hostel. She is someone who can be fun to hang out with, who enjoys going out. She is very opinionated, but dependent on her friends and prefer to have company when she goes out or needs to do something. She is someone whom you would like once you get to know her. :).

Reshma Gopakumar

Reshma Gopakumar : My hostel mate for 4 years.

She is our dearest chammu, our non-stop chatter box, always laughing and cheerful ... she is the maveli of the hostel. In spite of living quite far off, she tends to commute a lot, and is rarely seen in the hostel, especially during exam time ... she is an easy going girl, who is fun to hang around with. She is an independent girl, who can handle people, who is loyal to her friends and a sincere friend. She is always there for her friends and can be counted upon to be there for you. She is also very adjusting and accommodating. Her high pitch voice and laugh still rings in my mind when I think of her. She is someone you wouldn't easily forget once you have met her, and its quite easy to like her.

Serin Philips

My hostel mate for 4 years.

She was also a member of the college basketball team with me. She is an innocent and naive girl ... who is really simple minded and honest. She is of the most pavam girl I have seen. She loves sports and loved playing basketball. She is also a very caring person. She really doesn't understand a lot of things happening around her and can ask you some surprising doubts, about things you expect anyone to know. She is also worse than me at knowing when someone wants to be left alone ... (I kinda don't notice things when I barge in, but once I hear someone speak I realise it mostly ... but she unfortunately wouldn't know it unless someone tells her ... and then also she would have a puzzled expression sometimes) . But she is really a good hearted creature and people do know that she doesn't barge in on purpose and that its because she doesn't know ... he he. She really is a sweet girl with the best of intentions. She is also extremely strong physically and tends to forget to check her strength when dealing with some of the "handle with care" friends of mine like Paru. She is also a frank and open person, who loves to keep in touch with friends. She always makes the effort and stays connected with everyone. She is a friend worth having ...

Shilpa Stephen

Shilpa: My hostel mate for four years

She is a small, round, sweet friend of mine, always with a ready smile on her face. She has a cheery personality. She is a quiet girl, with a nice personality, determination, takes responsibilities seriously, someone you can count on. She is also really caring about her friends. She has a pet "puppy", pinky who is almost up to our shoulders ( and in her case is as tall as her) when it stands on two legs ... whom she is very fond of. Most people get a scare seeing the puppy, but she is a really friendly Alsatian, who is really very playful and not at all dangerous ... I guess I loved the dog very much when I visited her place. She loves having good food, and I had a fun time staying at her place, and we went out and saw different places ... and in general had fun ... She is a cute, cool, nice friend to have!!!

Rajitha Rajan

Rajitha: My hostel mate for 4 years

She is a girl many people get the wrong impression about ... when you first see her you see a rough and tough, fiery personality, who seems like a strong headed female, who seems to be taking on all kinds of challenges ... who could probably take on the world. She has in fact done plenty of daring stuff others wouldn't have during our fun filled Christmas dare seasons. And she can seem like really a crazy gal during exam time, as she is always very nervous and frustrated during those times, and become really absent minded, speaks her mind and scolds her friends when she sees them not studying ... he he he ... (and the already curly and unmanageable hair of hers standing like getting an electric shock after her short naps between study sessions helps to complete the picture! ;) ). But truth be told she is a sensitive and emotional being, who really isn't like what she seems. People really do misunderstand her. She does have guts and she is really responsible. Now she, having taken up teaching, I believe she is like a strict teacher. But I guess she is one of those kinds who doesn't know how to express her love and affections, maybe because of the fear of being vulnerable to manipulations. Guess its just a fear of getting hurt when coming down to things. Anyway she is a sincere person, who really is sweet in person, in spite of her seemingly tough exterior. So if you happen to be her friend do know that her feelings does get hurt real fast, and she is not as tough as she looks ... but she will be a true friend to you ...

Mary Tessy

Mary Tessy Ferdinand :My hostel mate in college for 4 years.

This is a quiet girl, who is extremely creative. She can be seen doing some craft or another, drawing with charcoal, using what she finds around to convert into her own small contributions into the art world of her room ... Some of her drawings had been really beautiful and so had been some of the stuff she made, one pen stand she made with the fruit of rubber tree I remember in particular ...

She is a very intelligent and smart girl, who loves to fight (fun) , and is the best example of size does not matter, as she is shorter than many girls around and still she can beat up most of them ... ;) ... She looks like a harmless non-violent girl, so I really have to say "appearances can be deceiving". She is fun to be with, and the kind with whom u can spend time without having to exchange a word and still feel nothing amiss and perfectly enjoy your time. Her favourite past time is watching TV and sleeping, and she cud sleep all hours of the day and does not follow any particular sleeping pattern. She is a sincere person, and someone whom you can trust. I guess I am glad to have met her and to have had the chance to be friends with her ...

Vinie

This dear friend of mine ... was my hostelmate, and we were also in the same basketball team. She was a little quiet, but always goofy and funny, and with a constant smile to her face. She is always cheerful and has a high spirit. She was one of the best players, save for a shortage of stamina. She is a hard working girl, who is dedicated to whatever she does. She is also a mature person who is opinionated and comes accross as reliable, and having a sound personality. She is a cool and sincere friend to have. You will definitely love her company. Thats all I got to say for now.

Calming a storm!

I just don't know what gets into me these days. I need very little to feel extremely happy or extremely sad. Its just so bad, that I feel sad when I clearly shouldn't, and when its just because I expect things which have no guarantee to happen. I have to stop expecting things and just taking life as it comes, as I used to do before. But I guess a lot of time in one's hands makes it difficult not to build castles in the air. The sad fact is my castles seem to crash again and again, and I still continue to build more, and it is kinda getting frustrating.

Maybe I should move on. Stop expecting things to happen. Do what I feel like doing. Be less desperate about being lonely, and think of just happy thoughts. It is possible to enjoy life, enjoy the peace once I could stop worrying about all these unnecessary things. I don't need anything right now, if I think in retrospect. I am not hurting anybody, I have all the time in the world to do what ever I want to do. And to top it off my cat is nearing its term in pregnancy and I have kittens to take care of soon. So what in the world is my problem? Hmmm ... now I feel a lot better. I guess I have decided to enjoy this freedom while it lasts. Not bother about anything at all, and just live for the moment.

P.S : This was self counselling. Guess it worked. :) . I feel a lot better now!

Tug of War between mind and heart

This is not the first time that I feel my heart wanting something and my mind not agreeing. Nor is it going to be the last time. My heart often wish that it could do what it wants, could save a lot of heart ache. But in the constant struggle between mind and heart it is often necessary for the heart to surrender so that it could save loosing the mind.

There is always certain things that the heart always wants, and this time its no different. It feels it is not meant to live alone, and it seeks for the company of another, it feels it has a lot to share and aches for one to be present. It does not understand reason and it keeps searching for one to fill the void it feels.

The mind cannot just let the heart follow its path however without, considering a million other factors, which are needed for this entity to survive in this world of today, and make something out of its life here. So often it has to decide to put on hold the hearts persistent plea, and channel resources to other things it considers need to be done.

There have been times, the heart took over the mind, cut off the mind from the entity and had its way. But that resulted in the consequences the mind had tried to prevent, which the mind had warned the heart before it was cut loose. Then again for the little joy the heart had, resulted in more ache later as eventually the mind came back, on the request of the heart to save this entity from loosing its path in life. These choices are often tough on the heart and it would end up mourning for long. That makes life unhappy for the entity. But thankfully this entity has an ever optimistic mind that communicates with the heart, consoles it and let it have hope.

Now again the mind rules, the heart (who now is of the state of once bitten twice shy) decides to let the mind make the decisions. But cant say there arent turbulent periods when the heart feels so depraved and begs the mind to let it have what it seeks, to follow the path it yearns. And hence again the struggle continues, and hope the heart has its due and gets what it so desires and then the mind and the heart can follow the same path as one and rule the entity( being me ) together.

:)

Deepti Skaria

Hostelmate in college hostel for 4 years

This girl had been one of the most absent minded creature I have seen, and a solace to me coz we are always confused as to who is worse. She is a girl very much interested in sports and the days we spent playing basketball is unforgettable. She was the rough and tough player in the team, he he, I mean she is the strongest girl in our hostel, and definitely was happy that she was on my side. ;). She is also a girl with fixed aim and ambition, who knows what she is doing, who has a strong character and definite ideals and morals. She was our motta, but the last photo I had seen of her, she had grown her hair long, but still I guess motta she will be, as four years nickname is hard to change. She was always good at taking up some event to do and was dedicated in whatever she does. She loves diarymilk and sweets are her weakness. She also has a terrible direction sense, but manages to reach her destination without too much trouble. She is also extremely restless, and every movement she makes seems to take up a lot of energy. She is one cool friend and a person I wouldnt forget.

Moi Instinct

Well I have this habit of following my instinct and doing things. When I say following my instinct it doesn't always mean I am doing things on the spur of the moment, no. I sometimes really do feel like doing something, and it may not seem to have a logical reason, or plausible explanation of why I feel like doing so at that moment. And at such times I don't just do what ever I feel just like that, but give it some thought for a couple of days or more. But usually one way or another I still end up doing what I felt the desire to do, be it sooner or later. So anyway I have accepted the facts that I follow my instincts and I try not to cause too much damage to the external factors such as other people involved in my action which my instinct tells me to do. I often tend to think about it by putting myself in the place of the people involved and try to understand what my actions would mean to them. And well if some of my actions are definitely going to cause some strong reactions I at least try to make my actions less of an explosive surprise as possible. I never like to hurt anyone else as far as possible, and if a situation arises where in it is inevitable to hurt someone the least I could do is to reduce the effects of it as much as I possibly can. And I do know my intentions not being to hurt wouldn't mean the person would feel any better about it, but sometimes I really have to do certain things for following what I believe in.

I often do things because that's what I believe is the right thing to do, and well different people have their own rights and wrongs, and I do accept that and I don't expect others to follow my beliefs. But I follow my heart, my instincts and my sense of righteousness in my actions except when I am confronted with choosing a path where in there is nothing "right", if I am to go forward I have to do "wrong". Then its a choice of the less damaging wrong. Anyway my life is not based on a planned or set path, I rarely plan ahead. I just follow a path as life takes me along, and usually restrict myself to doing things for immediate future. When two roads appear in front of me I follow my instinct and choose the road. And to be perfectly honest the reason I am still doing so is because my instincts have seldom let me down. And by seldom I should be tempted to say only a hand full of times, and those where due to other perfectly natural urges a human being has which the artificiality of the "civilized world" has connoted into a set of "rights" and "wrongs" that cannot be explained to the natural urges. So there where times when my "civilized human mind" could not win against the strength of nature's designs. Hence I have to say such instincts have made me slightly feel regretful of my actions simply because I tend to be confused in certain of my "right" actions, which have been embedded into me by my society and my current social environment. But having some exposure to the wide world of so many "rights" and "wrongs" I often find myself making amendments to certain of those "rights" and "wrongs" I have defined for myself. But well there are a few I tend to hold very precious and would be devastated if I am to have to find them "wrong".

But nevertheless I tend to live a life of not many regrets, and try my best to follow a path which I would know I would have followed given a chance to choose again. And well my instincts are something I have learned to trust on this. So I continue to follow the path that my instinct tells me.

Sannya

Sanni
My roommate for the 4 yrs in college hostel.

She is a gal who was brought up in Delhi, hardly knew how to speak malayalam, and a really cool gal and the only one in jeans I met in college other than me when I was gonna join there, so I decided to be in the same room as her. Was a decision I never regretted. She is like a sister to me, have stayed over at my place most of the vacations, been in the basketball college team with me, played pranks in the hostel and generally been a cheerful person to have around. My mom is very fond of her and still says sometimes if Sanni was here to help her select a Saree to wear, etc etc ... he he ... I am not much good there, whatever she picks I say its nice. he he.
She was a sweet gal who was pretty much a character, pretty much individualistic, having a mind of her own and who never gave a damn about what others thought abt something as long as she believed its right. She was also a gal who could blend in to any new place, face life as it comes and make the most of wat she has got. She is fun to be around and loves to have fun in life. She is sensitive and values friendship. She is a really good prankster and so people tend to disbelieve her after being at the receiving end of her pranks a couple of times. She is also extremely beauty conscious and likes to keep up with the "trends" in fashion, and frequently advices me to do the same (pretty much useless to advice me I have to say). Life is pretty much exciting with her around and you can always expect her to do something outrageous or out of the ordinary. She loves to be independent. We always differ in opinion on mostly all topics we discuss and our views almost always contradict, and its kinda funny coz both of us have these long futile discussions trying to make each other agree to one's own point and in the end its always back to square one. But all that also was fun, and proves u don't have to agree on things to be good friends, I guess that's basically because both of us believed in "live and let live" ... ha ha. Anyway when all is said and done I miss this gal a lot and I believe that we will remain the same to each other, no matter when we will meet again.

Paro

Paru ... my parvathy
My dearest and most close friend in hostel, and in my college life.

This is one person I really like a lot, and who is closest to me in my entire college life, and I have to say one of the few people I keep in regular touch with. She has a lot of unique characteristics, she is stubborn, reserved, shy to speak to strangers and very sensitive. A very complicated mix. She is also the most understanding person I have met, who knows me more than almost any other person knows me. I can write a lot about her but she wouldnt appreciate me making her an open book to read ... so I guess I will have to limit my words here. But she is really a very observant person, and knows to judge peoples mood and act accordingly which I find great coz she has mainly kept me in check a lot of times when I didnt realise something was wrong and might end up unnecessarily disturbing people by talking this and that when they might want to be left alone(which she keeps saying most people can and that I am the one of the rare tubelights who end up taking too long to understand when things are not right with people). But u see, seeing thru people who are really low but acting normal was never my strong points, and I thank her for helping me out in that. She used to be very hot tempered, but I guess that reduced a lot after four years in the hostel. She is a nice human being who has her own eccentricities, and her own decisions and opinions on things. She is highly interested in politics and what is going on with the world. She would like it very much if she can live an independant life without having to engage in the institution of marriage. She is really a special person and I sure miss hostel mainly coz I miss her and that I cant talk with her as I used to be able to. She is and always will be my dearest friend.

Depressed days ...

Now a days most of the time i am hanging on to not thinking abt anything if i want to stay out of depression ... anyone saying anything can get me depressed, and i just cant control it once i start feeling sad, it just gets aggravated ... and then i have to shut the world from me till i get over it ... I choose not to think the reasons for getting depressed though there is more than one reason for it ... I do wish I could get engaged in something that would take up all of my time so that I dint get time to think ... but that is not to be with the financial crisis making my placement a question mark, the classes i joined to get completely engaged taking up only 2 days a week, and not starting till 16th ... i still have a lot of hours to while away, I sleep for as long as i can so that i only have to face that much less part of the day, then try spending time online with whom so ever i then feel like talking to ... I prefer to talk to few people and those that do not remind me of anything ... so for a time I took to speaking to strangers, whom I got to know through a third party mediation, etc etc ... But that isn't quite solving the problem ... I feel OK for a few days and then start going bak to my depressions ... sometimes i think its OK to be depressed, there is only so much of emotions one can have and after a while it will get dulled off ... but every time i cheer up and have a few normal days and forget everything, the next time its like all the previous depressions didnt happen and its starting anew with all its fury ... Maybe I should take a break ... go somewhere ... where I am completely by myself and can do something peaceful and relaxing, a new place with no memories attached ... I do really wish like taking a break and running for it sometimes, but since i cannot do any such thing I am left to continue with my happy - depressed cycle till I get otherwise engaged ... And hope that when i do get into something that would be enough to get me out of this free fall and reach some plain stable land ...

Karthik

Name : Karthik
Classmate in Mohandas college

He is not exactly a close friend of mine. But we are acquaintances and have mainly spend time discussing programs in college for the labs. But from what I have seen of him he is a simple and straight forward person, with an easy smile and is very pleasant to deal with. He is hard working and often quiet in class. There isnt much more I do know about him but just thought of writing about him as I felt he is a really good person worth having as a friend.

Nimmy

Name : Nimmy
Classmate and hostelmate in mohandas college

She used to be a very good friend of mine in first year then due to certain circumstances, we drifted apart as the time went on ... but in final year hostelers day we regained some of the contact though we didnt get back to being close. She is a nice gal, but is reserved and distant. She prefers to keep to herself and remain aloof. She has her own decisions good or bad. She is helpful and loves going out, and enjoying life. She can be unsure at times about what she wants to do. She doesnt reveal her feelings openly and tend to be neutral. She does have a hot temper, though she keeps it under control mostly, and gets angry very rarely. She likes to be left to make her own decisions and prefers people to give her space. She can be an honest and good friend if u r willing to see her as she is and accept her in her own terms. I like her a lot as a person, as she is truly good at heart and does not do anything with bad intention ... she is a good person ... and it would have been good if we never had to drift apart ... but life takes its own course I guess ...

Neethu

Name : Neethu S S
Classmate in mohandas college, hostelmate

She is always forthright and speaks out her mind. She is also a bit possessive of her friends. Those friends she really considers her own she would be extremely loyal, but expects the same from them. She can be very helpful to those who are her friends. She is open to talk to but has a sharp tongue and might not mince words in expressing her feelings. But then I prefer people who speaks their mind to ur face rather than smile to ur face and slander u behind ur back, so in that respect though we have had some slight differences of opinions and bad patches, all that aside I do like her. She also have no qualms about admitting when she has done something wrong, and that is a great thing. She likes to dance, and she also lends hands to help out in organising things and volunteering for helping out with recruitment drives etc. She also is a good sport in having fun and have pitched in enthusiastically with the college day dance, playing Damayanti in "maliniyude theerangal thazhukivarum ...." which was quite good. And during the final year exams and later on after college we have come to understand each other bettre, and are now good friends ... and though I couldnt attend her marriage on 1st February this year due to my cousin's marriage on the same day, she has all my good wishes for a happy and bright future ...

Vysakha

Name : Vysakha
Classmate in mohandas college, hostelmate

She is a really someone who is yet to grow up ... who is still pretty much a child at heart. Coz of that she can be easily made happy or offended. She always speaks her mind and can be a bit abrupt and tactless when she finds something to her distaste or something that she dislike. She is very expressive and forthright. She is friendly and a really simple gal without any viles. If you do understand her and deal with her honestly and openly, she will really take to u, and be a real good friend. She is actually pretty simple at heart and a nice person. She has her own principles and she sticks by it. I have been to her place too for a during the rehersals for final year college day dance, and had fun there, with her father, mother, sister and brother ... and I enjoyed my stay there. I do have a liking for her, but we have never been real close as we tended to have different groups we hung out with ... and guess this is it for now ...

Kripa

Name : Kripa
Classmate in mohandas college

She is a quiet girl, who has an easy smile always. She always has really colourful earrings, which is something i always remember. She is a really simple person. She is soft spoken and easy going. She is game in having fun when we hang out together, and she likes to go shopping. She used to bring really tasty food to class, and I have been to her place too, and have to say her mom's a real wonderful cook. And she has a younger brother who is quiet fun to have around. She keeps her councel, and though we have hung out together every now and then I really dont know her intimately, but she is quite a good friend and a nice person to hang out with. We have gone on tours and all and it was fun. And I will always remember my visit to her house and had stayed there for a day for project ... it was really nice staying there ... thats abt it for now ...

Remya

Name : Remya
Classmate in mohandas college, hostelmate

She is a huge fan of Vijay. I was taken aback by all the vijay posters in her room ... She is also a really good dancer and has a passion for dancing. She is a very active gal. She is a bit of a nut case as in she can be totally oblivious to her surroundings and go off all dancing and stuff if she is listening to music, be it in the audience during colg fests, or be it on the road lostening to an ipod!!! Her laugh is one thing that can be a little too much ... he he. But she is a fun gal to be with. She can think abt things in a mature way at times, though she acts completely 'live for the moment without a care' most of the time. She is of a jolly kind, who would like to enjoy every moment in life. There were lots of fun moments we have had, choreographing dances together for the final year college day, hostelers day dances, really rocking away dancing in tours in bus, during camp fires, on stage in the cruise in goa ... lots of moments we really really had enjoyed to the max ... Hope that even though our college life together is over, we would meet somewhere again where we could go dancing like before ...

Veena

Name : Veena
Classmate in mohandas college

She is someone who is quite wild and open, loves to have fun and enjoy life. She is very talkative and also speaks extremely fast that u might loose track of what she is talking at times. Because she is extremely outspoken and can be a bit tactless in her dealings, she can make negative impressions at times,coz she is hot tempered and can really go off when someone gives her the reason to be ticked off ... but its only that she is really a straightforward person who shows her feelings and does not smile on the outside and try to stab u from behind ... I really have a high opinion of this girl, who takes life as it comes and is strong enuf to face life and will do what she feels is right without thinking wat people wud think. She is a true friend and really does stick to her friends through thick and thin. She is a friend of mine, though not all that close ... we never really had hanged out together much, as we had our separate friends groups, but from wat time I have spend with her, she has made an impression in my mind.

Sreelekshmi

Name : Sreelekshmi
Classmate in mohandas college

She is Lecturer Sreelekshmi now, teaching btech students ... she was always good at teaching and seems like she has a passion for it. She is a nice gal with a strong determination. She knows to stick to her views. She has been a good friend of mine in college and in the all india tour when I was not well she had stayed back with me though she had also another reason ;), but nevertheless. She is more quieter in class and doesnt alambify as much as the rest of us, but doesnt mean its coz she is not capable of it ... she cares for her friends, used to talk like a child sometimes, and mock fight over small small things. She is quiet in a certain way, as in she doesnt actually alambify ... but she is also bold and strong in character. She has her own beliefs and she also stands up to people when its required. She is very caring and can be a bit emotional at times. 4 years can give u lots of experiances, and much too many memories, and these are that came to my mind now which I can reveal here ...

Vidya Jyothi

Name : Vidya Jyoti aka VJV
Classmate and hostelmate in mohandas college

She is the most helpful person i have ever seen in life. Always there for her friends when they need anything. She came to the hostel after first year. But it was in the third year onwards that I got to know her better. She is a real sweet person, who is frank and open. She likes to dance a lot and is pretty good ... I still remember our dance - dappankuthu, mambazhama mambazham ... she was really good in that ... We had lots of fun in the tours dancing on the bus, both college tours and our final year hostel tour. She really enjoys life to the maximum. She has complete trust in her friends and always speaks highly of them. She speaks real fast and sometimes is difficult to follow her if u are not used to people speaking fast. She also has a very good memory, in fact its really something, she sleeps a lot even during exam time, she reads and studies for really less time, but watever she reads once she can close the book and reproduce just like that ... man. The biotechnology friends of mine once had a heart attack when they were trying ever so hard to study some tough subject and was reading thru the preparation of some chemical compound, and they tried to close the book and recall. Vidya was sleeping in the bed or rather taking rest, and they made some mistake in what they said, and she got up and said that that was not wat u read before and then repeated the correct stuff ... they were like open mouthed ... he he ... so if she used that head of hers a bit more to study wat wud it have been like??? She became really close to most of us in the hostel though she was not there from the beginning ... thats abt it for now ...

Bidhu

Name: Bidhu
Classmate in mohandas college, hostelmate, roommate

She has been a common factor everywhere in my college life, we used to be in the same bench in the first year, in class, and also she was my roommate for the 4 yrs in hostel. Later on i moved to the back bench from the first bench and she prefered to stick to the first bench. She is always been a real good friend, a very outgoing girl, with a very endearing personality, who is very talkative and knows whats going on with everyones life. She is a gay and friendly person, with a lot of grace. A wonderful dancer who could pic up any form of dance quite easily, I used to have fun watching her practice dance in the room, and she taught me many dance steps too. We used to have fun dancing on all parties, tours etc ... and in hostel also. She has a way of relating people to movie stars which Sanni(also my roommate) and I found very amusing. We had a lot of great times together in the tours, joking around, playing pranks in the hostel, dancing, and used to talk a lot ...there is lots and lots more to say abt her ... but this is it for now.

Prasanth

Name : Prasanth
Classmate in mohandas college

This is one really interesting guy in college. He used to act all tough guy ... make a lot of trouble and get branded "trouble" in class by the teachers. But he has got a great brain, and he could have faired real well if he had put his mind to it. He has a way of keeping people away by being really rude, and he kinda has a problem with letting people too close to him. But he can be a really nice guy and he does care for his friends. He has a lot of potential to being something great in life if only he wud put his mind to it. And if u learn to see his sarcasm and rudeness as just his defensive front, and get past that barrier, u would make a real good friend. He is also very helpful to those who need him and inspite of all his hyper active nature is actually pretty much good at heart.

Subodh

Name : Subodh
Classmate in mohandas college

He is an avid sports person, a superb volleyball player. He is quite a guy, but lacks self confidence. He thinks too low of himself even though personally I think if he would get a little bit of self confidence, and stops thinking he isnt good enough, he would be a really cool and nice guy. He is quite matured and serious and can understand a situation and give really good advices, as long as he isnt in that situation. But for all that he isnt that good with his own probs, and well very few are when it comes to their own problems. He is a very understanding guy, though one has to be careful when he is ur friend, coz he is extremely sensitive and might get depressed if u fail to contact him or if u dont personally invite him when u are going out. He needs to be assured he is wanted for an event. He loves his friends and he has a good heart. And if he stops waiting for the formalities of getting formally invited for events and wud just go ahead in attending everything that his friends want him to be in, without thinking anything negative, then he would be a great success with his friends. A little more positive attitude and he would be more happy with himself ...

Arshad

Name : Arshad
Classmate in college

He used to call himself tintu mon. He was my lab partner along with Anoop. I always enjoyed my lab classes quite a lot with these guys around. They used to joke around a lot, and usually comment on the actions of the other students of the lab, and mainly was really funny listening to them. He was not much into talking to gals and always used to say gals have an additional blood cell in them called the cheat blood cell. But for all his "he man woman hater" club attitude, he was still very friendly in the lab. I would like to believe that he never hated me atleast ... anyway they both used to make fun saying i wasnt considered a gal ... :( . He used to love going out on trips and often went out on bikes with the guys. He has an integrity of character, strong beliefs, a good sense of humour and was often outspoken, when he does speak. He didnt speak much to girls, mainly kept the company of guys. He was also very much interested with viruses and hacking and all sort of stuff ... photoshop etc etc ... In most programming lab classes if anyone has done the code it wud immediately be in his folder as well ... he he, used to amuse me to no end and I always wondered how he got it that fast. Though he is more of an introvert, i believe he is a really good friend and really good to those whom he loves ... thats abt it.

Mallan

Name:Anoop
Classmate in mohandas college

We had been lab partners - he,Arshad and me, till my s6 labs ... so there was a lot of fun incidents we had shared ... labs were always fun with these guys around. He was a genius in the electronics lab coz he created a new design where all the resistors and capacitors and all where standing to attention on the bread board, and after that we never let him connect anything by himself ... but miraculously he passed that lab in the first attempt itself ... which was really a surprise. He is a quiet guy mostly and was shy in talking to girls when he first came to our class. But well our class gals are a different breed and he got a bit more active as the years passed. Well he actually is quite a smart guy and intelligent too but he kinda wasnt in the mood to use it in the labs back then. He had also gotten a few punches from me and he was responsible for giving me the nickname olive. He is actually a sweet guy, straight forward, honest and fun. He used to tell me I remind him of his younger sister who used to beat him up at home ... ;). He used to be more of a hang out with guys type. But well though he appears a bit cool and distant, once he decides to make u his friend he will be a really true and great friend. Thats it abt this guy for now ...

Manju

Name : Manju
Classmate in mohandas college

She is a real quiet and reserved girl in class, who can talk a lot and be a really good friend if u take the time to get to know her. She has great artistic talents and is quite a good painter and some of her pencil sketches are really good. She used to help me, and most of the hostelites wear saree ... she was our expert on saree dressing. She is the youngest in her family, the fifth kid ... but not at all spoilt by being the youngest in a big family. She has a strong mind and wont waver from her decisions once she makes them, and has strong feelings about everything. She is a bit sensitive and also very loving. She really cares for her friends ... she was a classmate and hostelmate to me and there are many memories of the times we spent together ... but with this i stop for now ...

Rakhi

Name : Rakhi
Classmate in college
Gang : Amal, Anand, Arun, Andru, Shinu, Shanku, Rakhi and me

The only other gal in the group ... she is a fun loving gal. Was really crazy abt going for tours same as me ... She is always having a ready smile and a voice of real high frequency. We had a blast dancing away to glory in all the tours. We also shared a bench from middle of my second year in college onwards ... and had lots of fun causing trouble in class. She loves to buy footwear, thats her main weakness. We have gone to movies, and she used to stay at hostel with me and all together the memories are many. We have gone for many movies and had enjoyed a lot of outings. She is a simple gal who is a real great friend to have. Easy to talk to, very good at giving company, open, a good companion to have with u when u want to go for adventure or just have a blast in life ... the kind of friend who wud be with u thru thick and thin ... Much more to write as we had a lot of times together, but will fill in later ...

Arun

Name: Arun
B'day : 17th October
Classmate in college
Gang : Anand, Amal, Arun, Shanker, Shinu, Andru, Rakhi and me

He is a really innocent guy whose still a child at heart. He is into pinching and hitting his friends so he is called pincher. He has strong feelings about his friends and wouldnt tolerate anyone hurting them. He loves to hang out with the guys, go on trips with them and have fun in general. A really simple and easy going guy. His loves to eat eggs and wud attack any tiffin box that has eggs in it. He loves sweets too ... and so does all the others so when a sweet box is opened its always a big fight to see who gets more ... There are lot more to say ... but i guess i have to stop now.

Andru

Name : Vishnu
Classmate in college
Gang in class : Anand, Amal, Mathayi, Andru, Arun, Shanker, Rakhi and me

Andru got his name coz he is from Andrukonam, and well he is a quite jolly character. Had some fun in tours and he used to be into style. When i think of him its all the style he tries out ... he is kinda obsessed abt his looks, and well he tries to keep his looks "cool" too ... he is fun when u are out on a trip! He and mathayi are always fighting over really silly topics quite often ... they are like kids at times, but well thats also fun coz they make up real fast too (well mostly mathayi goes soft and makes the first move, and someone shud ... :D). He is an open person, an extrovert and loves having fun. And in four years time there are lot of fun we have had together, as part of the group everyone pulling each others leg ... And if there was a competition for who cud be the champion leg puller, he wud go away with the cup!!! He was also a good sport and gave me some company during sports times. And he can be a good help to take shopping and thanks to Rakhi and Veena he wud be successful in taking his wife out shopping ... as in one tour he ended up with those two and any one who knows what gals are like when they are out shopping can imagine how much experiance he must have gained ;) having to handle not one but two gals on shopping spree ... they really drove him crazy by running off in opposite directions in Bangalore where he had to keep them from getting lost. But well he was quite cool in that he succeeded in bringing them back safe ... There were lot more wonderful moments and i might add them eventually, but guess this is it for now abt this one!

Vedan

Name: Anand
Classmate in college
Gang in class : Anand, Amal, Mathayi, Andru, Arun, Shanker, Rakhi and me

This is vedan ... and the first thing that always comes to mind is when he eats one porotta which dissappear in one mouth ... ha ha :) ... he is the giant guy in the gang with extremely loud voice. He was always very outgoing and friendly, can make friends easily and can talk abt anything and everything. He was always into organising events. He is a very good organiser of events and all of the college tours by our class was organised by him, quite well in fact. I have gone for all of them and have had so much fun. Anyway moving on, there is this song we always associate with him ... Chanju nikkana putha mavinte kombathe chillayil keriyathu, poornachandrane kaanan alla, poo parikkanalla ... this song will always remind me of him, he used to sing it on all the tours with ample reason for it. Guys used to call him the database, :D . He is quite good with handling people and can be very helpful to u. A nice guy, who has been a lot of fun to hang out with. There are lots of memories of all the fun, the college tours, our short fun trips to movies as a gang, the college day dance (He was dushyanthan in maliniyude theerangal - priceless!!!). And hope we will always keep in touch ...

Shanker

Name : Shanker
B'day : Feb 1
Classmate in Mohandas college
Gang in class : Anand, Amal, Mathayi, Andru, Arun, Shanker, Rakhi and me

Shanku is my neighbour and also a good friend ... He is a very quiet guy. He is one of the rare species whom I have never seen show much of an emotion at all ... he is very good at not showing wat goes through his mind outside and as a result its very difficult to gauge his moods. He is quite friendly though he is quiet. Though he is a friend of mine when we sit and talk in a group he mostly only nods his head to whatever is spoken or usually maximum gives single word comments ... and its just the way he is ... a reserved person. He looks skinny but is quite strong, and is said to have too much strength to handle by the guys when he goes outta line when they party. But well that apart he is quite cool to hang out with.

Mathayi

Name : Shinu
classmate in college
Gang : Amal, Anand, Andru, Mathayi, Arun, Shanku, Rakhi, me

He is a very down to earth person and another of my close friends ... he would do anything for friends and cares a lot about the people whom he loves. He is also a guy with his heart in the right place and who has to find what he wants to do in life other than his favourite past time of partying [;)]. He loves his tharavaadu a lot!!! He tries keeping many secrets and often ends up being caught out by friends and then is at the recieving end of a lot of making fun ... But if he gets his life straightened out he is really a totally cool guy who would be a good family man also. And i sure expect him to have a very happy and successful life up ahead.

Amal

Name: Amal also called Alpu
Classmate in college
Gang in class : Anand, Amal, Mathayi, Andru, Arun, Shanker, Rakhi and me

This is a very good friend of mine and classmate of mine in Mohandas college of Engineering. We had a lot of fun together and though he pulls my leg a lot and used to get beaten up by me a lot, and maybe becoz of it he has a special place in my heart. I guess he is like a brother to me, and a friend. He is a simple guy with eyes whose colour i could never determine. He really doesnt know what to do with his life but his heart is in the right place. He is also really good at getting people to do stuff for him by all his cajoling and sweet talking ... u would know what i mean if u ever get to be at the recieving end of his persuations, its extremely difficult to say no to him, when he is trying to make u do something for him ... He has made me do so many of his record work that way ... but well he is really a sweet guy. He does really have good way of handling people and solving fights and its really easy to like him. I can infact write a lot about him but i am just telling some of the best things i felt abt each person ... so i guess this shud be it.

Another of my favourite song : ITS MY LIFE by BON JOVI

The soft version :
http://www.dizzler.com/music/Bon_Jovi

The rock version :
http://www.dizzler.com/index.search.dv8?q=its+my+life

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
Chorus

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks
Chorus

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down
Chorus

It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

Chorus

It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

Quest to find the real me ...

I am not sure when I would post this ... but I always felt better to reflect my thoughts here ... so I am writing down what came to my mind ...
I still don't know what I want to be in life ... nor how i want to be .... nor what kind of a person I truly am. Maybe that's y I often get swayed by the opinion of those around me and remain indecisive at least for a while before I decide something. And even those decisions need not be for the best. But from what I know of myself so far, I do know that I am true to the people around me. That doesn't mean that I tell every small detail of myself to everyone. I do keep things to myself which I feel someone need not know, for reasons of my own. But I do always try to tell people the truth. I also do trust people way too easily, at least while chatting and it was after doing some grave mistakes that I decided if I just wanted to talk and didn't mind letting someone I met on the run know things abt my life, why not just post it in public. Coz it really doesn't make a difference as I do not mind sharing the information. And this way is in a way a better way.
OK talking abt me one thing I really know after reading my own posts is that I am a very distracted person. My thoughts go so fast from one topic to another even as I just type in what runs through my mind. So I guess there needn't be a flow in what I write. But well this is not meant for the sensible audience or anything. Its just meant for anyone who cares to read. And besides might not appeal to anyone at all, or just to those who are as much weird or crazy as me.
Well there are many more things I am aware about myself but I guess I do not want to share me like an open book now. But I guess I am good at getting over depressions as quickly as I get into them. And for the most part I like to be optimistic about things. Apart from these general trivia before I forget my lessons I would like to make a few things I would like to follow in my own future :

1. I should try to be less affected by every remark or opinion people have of me or people tend to tell me.
2. Try to do things that I enjoy as much as possible.
3. Try to think things through before I speak them (tough one for me at least since I tend to speak first and think later).
4. Don't get disappointed ever ... try try try ... no matter what u will find what u want (the plus point being I dunno what I want, I know that can be confusing to u, but not to me - just means I find whatever I love at the moment, see if it makes me happy else I still have to find what I want ... has it ever occurred to you finding ur dream could be a quest in itself?).
5. Don't think anything that happens to u is bad, it all had a purpose, think on the positive note, u learned something out of it and u didn't die of it ... so u could still use the facts.

I guess that would be it for now on this note. I already drifted all over the topic and by now probably made it a typical post by me ... something that wont make sense to most people. Guess my work for this post is complete. :)

When I become most happy ....

I just sat thinking the times when i felt absolutely happy .... just blissfully happy ... and the one thing that has always succeeded in making me happy was a basketball game. Now I barely know the game and my shooting isnt anywhere close to average nor is my ball handling skills, and well frankly speaking I havent trained for the game, but just have played for fun. But thats what makes it so wonderful, just playing it for fun with friends, not necessarily following all the rules. I had started playing in my 9th and found it a game I really enjoyed. I used to play with guys till college end and well i got knocked down and bruised quite a bit and still have the scars to show, but while playing none of that ever mattered. The feeling of running up and down the court trying to find an opening to get the ball, pass it or shoot it, chase down opponents and just make it difficult for them to score, all that and all the fun and laughter... All games are fun for me ... kho-kho was my favourite in school when I was in Kottarakara, MGM school till 7th where they really concentrated on that game, but when i came to trivandrum that game was not played much and so started on basketball. Anyway i love anygame where there is the thrill of running, sprinting and thinking of some strategy, where u have a team and all play as one, and where there is comraderie and sportsmanship ... and where win or loose ... u still have lots of fun!!! And I miss the games and wish I would go places where be it basketball or something new I may get the chance to try out and learn to love, I do get a chance to be free to sprint and have fun!!!

My Favourite song : Greenday - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

http://www.dizzler.com/music/Green_Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing thats beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til' then I'll walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
what'sFucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I'll walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til' then I'll walk alone