What is love ?

I guess its a confusing question ... what love is ...

If one person dominates your thoughts night and day, and you feel like your life is
revolving around that person, then does that mean you are in love,
or is it just an infatuation?

I guess that's a good question ...

I keep falling in love, getting a heart break ... again falling in love ...
oh! the confusing life I lead.

The worst part is I cant decide whom I fall in love with,
at least not consciously so far ...

Its a subconscious process, where my biological radar keeps scanning for ideal candidates,
short lists them without even a conscious decision, targets one based on god knows what criteria,
and makes you feel like you have been hit with a cupid arrow, when ever you see the person,
once your subconsciousness makes up its mind.

It never asks the conscious part what it has to say about this ...

And what does this result in? Heartbreak.

And to top that off, you get insulted, degraded etc ...
if you are the bold kind that speaks your mind and go and tell the person how you feel ...
just wonderful I say.

I at times wish that I could fight myself so I can live a peaceful life.
Anyway I guess am back to feeling rejected, lonely and completely distressed that in spite of it all,
I am still very much in love.

I guess its true that when you are in love you feel both extremely high and extremely depressed
at the same time.

Depressing time of my life ... guess life has its highs and lows and
I am at the most turbulent period of my life ...

I just don't understand how I can continue falling in love and
never learn after having never succeeded in it so far ...

Guess some things are just beyond your control and you cant change what you are.

note: originally written on Feb 21, 2011